Barton Downs
The sun was out to welcome home Barton Downs, and how pleasing it is to know that he's already signed up to suffer alongside the rest of us next Season. Microcosms abounded as the big screen timed Elliot Benyon's first offside at 43 seconds into the match, the familiar calls of 'Sort it out Hargreaves' caught the warm breeze as another defeat moved towards it's usual inevitability, and Dale Tonge involved himself in some penalty action.
Soporific might have been a word that came to mind as I drowsed in the sunshine if it weren't instead for the constant thought that Wayne Burnett looked just like he'd stepped off the set of Dallas, having filmed a scene at Southfork Ranch. The jacket with elbow patches, the heavy jeans, thumbs tucked in holster, as gunslinger Burnett (above) tells his posse to head Benyon off at the pass and then to let him have it with both barrels. Just give him a stetson and he could have accompanied Miss Ellie to the Oilman's Ball.
No Billy The Kid in evidence, but we did have a half hearted midfield shoot out between Billy Bodin and Dagenham midfielder Billy Bingham. Bodin suffered a direct hit on 40 minutes and had to be carried back to the ranch for treatment, as he was replaced by Daniesta.
The Gulls had started brightly. Some fevered early attacking saw us unable to prod the ball home during some disarray in the D&R defence, and I think it was Cap'n Manse who went agonisingly close with a free kick.
Above: 'Going down, sitting down, feeling down' Unfortunately 3pm would bring about the familiar microcosm for these Gulls fans to endure.
One of the main talking points of the first 45 minutes was whether Brian Saah's challenge on the sprightly Coulthirst warranted a red card rather than the yellow that was shown. I rather got the impression that Coulthirst intended going to ground from the challenge, but you would really have needed to be viewing it from the perspective of the Popside to clearly see whose leg went where and when and how contact was made.
We'd been unable to make the all important goalscoring breakthrough, and Ricey had been largely untroubled at the other end, so we therefore reached the interval with the scoreline reading Gulls 0
Wayne's Cowboys Daggers 0.
How much money did Deano have to give away at half time I hear you ask ? Well equal amounts of both £325 for both the Crossbar challenge and the 50/50 draw is the answer. I think the winner of the 50/50 hailed from Swindon and his ticket matched Dean's call of No.65744. The crossbar challenge was altogether a more strung out affair, and I wondered if second half kick off would have to be delayed to accommodate it. The initial selection of No.67060 didn't elicit a response, forcing a redraw that gave the opportunity for holder of ticket No.66132 to come forward. Still no luck, and so an increasingly exasperated Deano moved on to a second re-draw, as ticket N0.6568 (possibly missing a digit) was selected accompanied by a one minute time limit within which the holder had to make themselves known. As the full sixty seconds ticked away we then proceded to have a fourth drawing of the Crossbar challenge number and when No.67157 was called out a woman and youngster did appear....only to declare that neither of them would be taking any penalties.'Malcolm' took three poor penalties on their behalf ( If only they'd let 'Quick On The Draw' Wayne Burnett pick the numbers it would have all been concluded in half the time) as the half time fun drew to a close, but not before my spirits were further lifted as the half time score from Dean Court was announced conveying the joyous news that the Owls were already 2-1 in front.
The second half didn't produce any particularly flowing football, the high ball over the top of the defence for Benyon to chase remained the preferred option. We did what we could from some set pieces, but a little against the run of play then found ourselves in the customary position of being one nil down, as unlucky Dale Tonge conceded a penalty.
Jordan Chapell and Ashley Yeoman joined the fray, but couldn't help conjure up a goal. Benyon broke clear but unfortunately also produced a Benyonesque finish as he blasted the ball at the Directors Box rather than at the goal.
Four minutes added time didn't see any change to the scoreline, although Martin Rice did well to ensure it remained as a tried and trusted single goal defeat rather than a bigger margin.
Bailey Cargill had a good game considering his tender years and lack of football league experience. Ben Harding could be reasonably pleased with his afternoons work, and Shaquile Coulthirst worked hard despite close attention from D&R's defenders.
OK, yes it does all seem a bit bleak at the moment, but just think....in 12 months time we'll be inviting Felix down for the Promotion Party !!
Above: Full time, and the Plainmoor Faithful scurry off to buy their early bird season tickets for 2014-15.
