merse
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Post by merse on Jun 14, 2008 18:28:13 GMT
 I've just got back from a return to my old Black Country haunts of a quarter of a century ago where it was the sad occasion of the funeral of a beautiful young girl who devastatingly lost her life in a motorway smash at the age of 24. She was the daughter of my adulthood lifelong friend. He was Best Man at my first wedding and his then wife was our Chief Bridesmaid. I saw the young girl concerned when she was but thirty minutes old, and everything I see in my beautiful little four year old now reminds me of Sophie in her formative years. Despite a family feud, she was the only one who maintained regular contact with her dad as sadly, after having four children their marriage foundered and animosity prevails so strongly to this day that we faced the shocking sight of two big police officers at each entrance to the crematorium and a van full of suitably equipped back ups should there be a breach of the peace. Reunions with some old spars after so long was a truly mind opening experience as a good number of us who were once, slim athletic and fit footballers together waddled up to one another in our suits; some bald, some grey barely recognising one another as we were experiencing "instant ageing" before one another's eyes. I felt like a Great Train Robber on his first day of freedom! One who hadn't aged to any great degree was Robbie Dennison (now 43 "ish") who has barely altered from the lithe young man who terrorised OUR defence whilst playing for Wolves when they were in the Fourth Division with the legendary Steve Bull in the side too.............and no, I reckon he still can't get his head round the way we pinched that Wembley appearance off them at Molyneux that glorious night! A young man came up to me and checked out I was who he thought I was and reminded me that he had attended the very first football match of his life the night we all piled in a Transit and saw the epic at Turf Moor where we held out in the second leg of the play off semi final and then ended up sheltering in a Burnley fans' house for much of the night before sneaking out of town at dawn! All a long time ago and happy memories, but the reason I bring you this story is to emphasise the need to put old feuds to rest before they become everlasting and indeed life changing. I'm proud to say my life long friend held his dignity through the heart break of yesterday and the past month despite some terrible provocation. I'm also proud to have stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder with old mates. Thankfully the "peace was not breached" and we all went our two separate ways to two different wakes. All very sad but necessary in the circumstances. I don't know what the other one was like, but Sophie (who was a real party girl) would have loved ours..............and I wonder if (in spirit) she was dashing from one to another It was "that kind of evening"
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Dave
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Post by Dave on Jun 14, 2008 19:52:55 GMT
My thoughts were with you yesterday Merse, aware that you would be at a funeral. As I said before it always seems so more tragic, when a life lost is a young one, cut short, when you would have expected them to have a full life in front of them.
As some who lives on the road, I see far more that my share of accidents, each one leaves a lasting mark on me.
There are some people in life that no matter what you try to do, to resolve a difference, that may be between you, you Will end up simply wasting your time. You can try and talk and find a better way, but unless the other person is prepared to except their part of the blame, or the part they played in it,you may as well forget it.
The secret is, to never let it eat away at you, never allow yourself to feel bitter, as it will only destroy you in the end. Some feuds will never be resolved, there will be people who we will never make friends with again, but there will always be our true friends and loved ones, who will always be there.
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jamie
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Post by jamie on Jun 14, 2008 20:47:35 GMT
What a beautiful post Alan. I really enjoyed reading it in all its saddness.
Have you considered a job as middle east peace envoy?
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merse
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Post by merse on Jun 14, 2008 21:04:19 GMT
Have you considered a job as middle east peace envoy? Not when the "other side" regard one as some sort of "minder", no! |
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Dave
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Post by Dave on Jun 16, 2008 18:23:52 GMT
Thought you might like to read this story Merse
NAIL IN THE FENCE
There once was a little boy who had a bad
temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails
and told him that every time he lost his
temper, he must hammer a nail into the back
of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his
anger, the number of nails hammered daily
gradually dwindled down. He discovered
it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't
lose his temper at all. He told his father
about it and the father suggested that the
boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally
able to tell his father that all the nails
were gone. The father took his son by the
hand and led him to the fence.
He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be
the same. When you say things in anger,
they leave a scar just like this one. You
can put a knife in a man and draw it out.
It won't matter how many times you say I'm
sorry, the wound is still there.'
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
'Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They
make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us.'
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phil
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Post by phil on Jun 17, 2008 6:51:30 GMT
Very wise words indeed Dave. I see the consequences of the falures of people to do so on a daily basis. Physical cruelty might be more visible but the effect of mental torture can run a lot deeper.
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Dave
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Post by Dave on Jun 17, 2008 16:28:55 GMT
Very wise words indeed Dave. I see the consequences of the falures of people to do so on a daily basis. Physical cruelty might be more visible but the effect of mental torture can run a lot deeper. One thing that really saddens me, is the level of violence now on our streets, I can never understand how any person would, or could cause harm to any human being. The days of respect are gone, as a boy growing up in Newton Abbot, you knew the local policeman and you knew he would give you a clip around the ear, if he caught you misbehaving. I hate conflict and wars, there is always a better way and talking is one of them. Sadly I don't think the days of respect and proper values will ever return, but glad I have mine and will keep to them until the end. |
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Post by capitalgull on Jun 17, 2008 16:31:32 GMT
It's weird to think bad behaviour when I was a 12-year-old, and enough to get you a ticking off, was throwing a stick up into a horse chestnut tree and trying to knock a few conkers down!! How things have changed. And that is only 23 years ago  |
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Post by jimd on Jun 17, 2008 17:38:29 GMT
It's weird to think bad behaviour when I was a 12-year-old, and enough to get you a ticking off, was throwing a stick up into a horse chestnut tree and trying to knock a few conkers down!! How things have changed. [glow=yellow,2,300]And that is only 23 years ago[/glow] bloody kids...lol |
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I've just got back from a return to my old Black Country haunts of a quarter of a century ago where it was the sad occasion of the funeral of a beautiful young girl who devastatingly lost her life in a motorway smash at the age of 24.
