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Post by Deleted on May 3, 2017 17:21:20 GMT
And well done to Hector, who is one of the few to acknowledge how well Tiverton Town have done, culminating in that 2-0 victory away at Steve Claridge's Salisbury, that has earned them a hard fought, but slightly unexpected promotion. Now on to today's TFF General Election Campaign Report CORBO ROASTED IN HELE !!With Prime Minister Theresa May campaigning in the West Country, it seems that Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn, thought it would be a good time to show his face in the South West also. However, Jezza's decision to campaign in Hele village, in support of the Labour Party candidate, might be one he now regrets. Local Party member Alf Tidy told us: 'I think Jeremy is still a bit shaken up. You know what these London types are like, wouldn't listen to we locals. I said, Hele village is solid Lord Tust territory, I wooden go there boy,they'm all votin' MRTP'. Local man Alf Tidy tried to warn the Labour leader. Giving up after less than 15 minutes canvassing, Corbyn retreated under a barrage of eggs, tomatoes and expletives, and was swiftly driven away towards Exeter. So, good news for The Monster Raving Tust Party....or at least you'd have thought so.....but Screaming Lord Tust himself wasn't so sure: 'I don't know what he's up to, it's only going to split the Left Wing vote. MRTP represents the militants in the Torbay area. Corbyn and Labour should concentrate their efforts elsewhere. Three advisers, security men, a chauffeur driven car.....it's scary the amount of cash Labour have available to waste. I'm running the MRTP on a shoestring...and the Puppy Dog Army have been out leafleting on my behalf voluntarily and totally unpaid. Money is very tight, and it's stopping me running the campaign the way I'd like'. The scene earlier today, during Mr. Corbyn's abortive visit to Hele Village. |
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Post by Deleted on May 5, 2017 10:49:48 GMT
LORD LEARNS LOCAL LESSONSNone other than Screaming Lord Tust himself, has been analysing the Local Election results, and tells us how he sees them as a guide to voting intentions in the upcoming General Election. 'It's obvious innit', stated the Lord emphatically. 'They'll clean up. The Tories will win with a landslide. And they'll win here in Torbay too if the Progressives don't see sense and get behind one candidate...me obviously !. I know there's some that worry that my supporters such as the TUST Militants are too extreme, but we're the only ones putting forward a radical Socialist agenda that's applicable to Devon. No one votes for Corbyn's mob down here, we saw the 'welcome' he got in Hele a few days ago. Ask him or Abbott to leave London for the day and they're like fish out of water. We need to combine our resources...only the Monster Raving Tust Party can provide credible opposition to the Tories'.Lord Tust expanded further on his point; 'The Liberals are just sandal wearing, E.U loving, plonkers. The Labour Party used to identify with the working man. Well that's well and truly out the window. Is it the working man who's changed....or is it the Labour Party  ...I think we all know the answer !'
'So I'm the only hope. But the MRTP needs better funding'. Lord Tust declined to give exact figures, but confessed that Party funds were now so low that they were ' even below the sum you'd raise from a TUST pre-share issue'......worrying times indeed ! 'She'll take some stopping mind you. Fair dues to her, Theresa May is winning over more of the working class by the day. They seem to identify with her strong and stable leadership message somehow'
Lord Tust hopes to make further announcements regarding Party Funding, as well as commenting on TUFC's Consultation Survey over the weekend. 
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2017 17:36:03 GMT
GOOD NEWS SUNDAY
'It's extremely pleasing to see it, and useful publicity for our cause' beamed Screaming Lord Tust. ' And it's another national Sunday newspaper. OK so it's not the Observer this time, but it is front page...and it will hopefully bring some Labour votes my way'.'Yes, of course banning Jeremy Corbyn from membership of the Puppy Dog Army is more of a symbolic gesture than anything. But we're not part of that coalition of chaos... we want all the extreme Left votes in Torquay to be cast for the Monster Raving Tust Party. I couldn't be more pleased with this show of loyalty, and knowing the Press have picked up on it is even more gratifying. Puppy Doggers have made their views on Corbyn crystal clear !'
 And the good news didn't stop there for Lord Tust and the MRTP. 'I didn't want to have to go down the sponsorship route' admitted Lord Tust, but this will give our campaign a huge financial boost. Many TUST militants were also against us taking commercial sponsorship, but when they learned that Leninade would be our official Election campaign soft drink, they soon changed their minds and are now fully supportive'.
'Now I just hope to round off the day with some good news from France. Monsieur Macron is our favoured candidate. I know he has the endorsement of the TUST militants. A globalist, a freemason, an investment banker, favoured by the Rothchilds, and married to his Nan....we will certainly be rooting for him tonight'. |
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Rob
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Post by Rob on May 7, 2017 22:43:58 GMT
National Front's Le Pen defeated by projected 65:35. Hope you are not too dejected tonight, AJ.
Incidentally - Why the avatar of former British Union of Fascists member, William Joyce. What is the fascination?
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2017 7:49:42 GMT
Rob I highly doubt that those responsible for the recent changes to my account were motivated by a fascination with William Joyce or the British Union of Fascists. So as to the thinking behind the 'alterations', I was going to say that your guess is as good as mine, Rob.......although I've a suspicion it could be a whole lot better  . |
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2017 12:48:42 GMT
TELL ME WHY ( I don't trust Mondays)
Screaming Lord Tust was aware of the increasing perspiration on his brow as he adjusted the microphone, before looking around the packed room at the eager audience awaiting his Monday Press conference. ‘I wish I could just take a couple of easy questions from Dave Thomas and have done with it', thought His Lordship. No such luck. ‘Is it really true that you advised TUST members not to indicate their membership when replying to the Supporters Survey because you fear GI building up a database of TUST members, along with their accompanying contact details? Lord Tust had steadfastly refused to answer TUST related questions up to now. ‘Answer one and I’ll get an avalanche of them’ he reasoned. ‘No comment’ replied His Lordship. ‘Isn’t it more the case that you were fearful that G.I would see that your membership comprises little more than the London and Home Counties Left….and that local support is rather thin on the ground ?? ‘Definitely no comment’ said Lord Tust, as he cleared his throat. ‘And in addition, reveal just how few TUST members actually attend games or contribute to match day revenue, isn’t that why you wanted militants not to reveal their membership in the survey ?' ‘No comment….next question’ said Lord Tust, attempting to look as unflustered as he could. ‘Would not such attributable information relating to the desires of ordinary TUST members have provided evidence that the far Left agenda presented to the club, does not actually correspond with wishes of your rank and file….and consequently the ‘no disclosure’ order was issued ?‘How would you rank the relevant merits of a ACV on leasehold ownership of Plainmoor swimming pool, as against one relating to the freehold ownership of Plainmoor stadium ?
‘Are further resignations from the TUST Board anticipated ?? ‘No, no comment….and can we please get on to subjects of more interest to the electorate as a whole’ pleaded Lord Tust. ‘Was George Khan’s business advice sought on how to resurrect the sinking TUST lottery, and therefore possibly save it from closing down ?6.30am and suddenly Lord Tust’s alarm clock made him wake with a start. Sitting bolt upright in bed, His Lordship wiped his brow with his pyjama sleeve. ‘I’ve not had one of those transparency nightmares for a while’, he trembled. ‘I absolutely hate them. I think I’ll wait till 7am and then call my agent. Best to cancel today’s Press Conference I think…...I’m really not feeling up to it.’
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2017 9:43:03 GMT
‘We are not frittering away the Leninade money at all’ retorted Lord Tust angrily. 'Hiring the steamroller for half an hour didn’t cost that much, and as for the full sized Clarke Osborne cardboard cutout...well again, negligible expense’.Leon Trustsky decided it was better just to let Lord Tust rant at this stage, rather than press him to reveal the actual cost. ‘We needed a campaign song’ insisted Lord Tust. ' Labour already have that Internationale/O Christmas Tree one, so I had to tell the Militants to choose something else'.
link- The Red Flag; History Of A Song‘Easier and cheaper to update the lyrics of Roll Over Beethoven to fit our 2017 General Election campaign message. And anyway, it’s ‘investment’ not ‘expenditure’, claimed His Lordship, to a decidedly doubtful looking Trustsky. ‘Look Leon, once we’ve played ‘Roll Over Clarke Osborne’ a few times at Yellowfest 2017 in front of 10,000, maybe a repeat performance in front of an even bigger crowd at Paignton seafront…...that’s where the promotional video featuring us performing while the steamroller flattens the cardboard cutout of Clarke will really gets the song talked about, and the sales will skyrocket. And all proceeds got to MRTP’s Election fighting fund'.
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2017 8:29:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2017 11:29:00 GMT
This is fast becoming a one horse race (if it wasn't already) with the latest plans of Corbett being leaked! The man is seriously disturbed, and needs to be certified, not run a country. He will of course get millions of votes...still, there's nowt as queer as folk!
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Rob
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Post by Rob on May 12, 2017 3:11:44 GMT
That will be a nice Brexit distraction for everyone. Perhaps they might start talking about bringing back the birch, National Service and hanging as we proceed further in this glorious modern era of zero hours contracts and food banks. Tally ho! |
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hector
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Post by hector on May 12, 2017 6:50:25 GMT
This is fast becoming a one horse race (if it wasn't already) with the latest plans of Corbett being leaked! The man is seriously disturbed, and needs to be certified, not run a country. He will of course get millions of votes...still, there's nowt as queer as folk! If you (as in everyone, not just you Reg) actually read the Labour Manifesto, it has many laudable aims. Unfortunately we all know from previous Labour governments that as soon as they get their hands on the the UK plc bank account, all the cheques will be gone and the overdraft facility totally abused within the first year. After that the national credit card gets maxed out and it's then all downhill until the next GE. So how do you explain the sharp rise in borrowing since 2010? |
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2017 8:07:53 GMT
Oh what a great day it would be if they brought back the birch, national service and even hanging*. I'm a Buddhist so i believe in karma! If you do something bad in this life you are sure as shit going to pay for it in a future life! None of this murdering innocent women and children in hot climes then strolling back to this country and being untouchable because of 'Human Bloody Rights.'
*I have a mate who did time in Borstal, and as he says, you only go to Borstal once! Now what do they do if some toe-rag is making ever ones life a misery in his neighbourhood...oh yes, nothing!
Oh yeah, i nearly forgot, people that hunt foxes deserve to be hung also! What's the saying...The unspeakable chasing the uneatable!
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2017 8:59:02 GMT
This is fast becoming a one horse race (if it wasn't already) with the latest plans of Corbett being leaked! The man is seriously disturbed, and needs to be certified, not run a country. He will of course get millions of votes...still, there's nowt as queer as folk! If you (as in everyone, not just you Reg) actually read the Labour Manifesto, it has many laudable aims. Unfortunately we all know from previous Labour governments that as soon as they get their hands on the the UK plc bank account, all the cheques will be gone and the overdraft facility totally abused within the first year. After that the national credit card gets maxed out and it's then all downhill until the next GE. I don't believe i have ever looked at a Labour Manifesto...a fate worse than hanging in my view! It's enough just to see Corbett in the papers and on the news and see his totally ridiculous ideas expounded to his minions! |
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2017 10:11:00 GMT
IT'S A RIP OFF !!! Corbyn’s pulled the rug out from beneath you completely, stated Leon Trustsky as he pushed the newspapers across the table in Lord Tust’s direction. The forlorn looking leader of the MRTP scanned the headlines. ‘Well there’s one difference for a start. Corbyn might be aiming for a 1970’s Britain, but the MRTP’s policies have more in common with 1980’s Cuba'.Trustsky went on the attack: ‘Look at this, open door immigration, Refugees welcome, community ownership of all gender neutral toilets, nationalisation of the Premier League….these were all core MRTP policies and Corbyn has snaffled them up from under your nose and announced them first !'
‘Ah, but what about St.Marychurch being entitled to it’s own separate Gay Pride march ??...I don’t see Corbyn stealing that off us’ answered Lord Tust smugly. 'He’s stolen your thunder Lord Tust, and probably by doing so, ensured the Torbay Far Left vote goes to Labour and not to you. No amount of Puppy Dog Army leafleting can gain the initiative back for you. Why the delay in announcing the MRTP manifesto anyway ? Is there a definite date ?‘We may not have a formal manifesto as such’ said His Lordship, 'much better for the MRTP to adopt a more flexible approach to policy announcements’
‘What the hell does that mean?’ enquired a bemused Trustsky. ‘Well, just take this last week as an example’ explained Lord Tust. ‘ We were able to project 2 or 3 days of negative publicity onto Osborne by claiming that Season ticket prices needed to have be announced far sooner. That the delay in getting the money in would put us behind other clubs, and that supporters needed to know urgently how much they’d have to fork out for their ticket’‘ But then, as soon as the season ticket announcement was made, there were militants spamming the Forums urging fans not to buy season tickets’ said Trustsky. ‘Insinuating the season ticket money would go to a slush fund to buy off councillors !’‘Ah yes’ said Lord Tust. ' That did make us look rather two faced and opportunistic. One particular militant was a bit too quick off the mark. But we have to adapt our policy to always portray G.I and Osborne in the worst possible light. If that means our policies have to be ‘adjusted’ by 180 degrees overnight, then that’s what we’ll do, and hope not to many people notice the hypocrisy’.
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rjdgull
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Post by rjdgull on May 12, 2017 20:38:40 GMT
So how do you explain the sharp rise in borrowing since 2010? Two reasons really. The tories were tied into funding commitments made by labour during their governance period, when they first came to power. Secondly, Brown had borrowed excessively against future income, which hasn't materialised so the only way the Tory government could raise capital was by borrowing even more. It looks as if the Tories are more reckless than Labour, when in fact they have Labour's debts to clear but also need capital to run the country. A double whammy, to use a hackneyed cliche. The deficit (difference in the year between government expenditure and income) peaked at around 170 billion or around 10 % of GDP IN 2009/10 financial year ie last year of the Labour government ( hence the note in the treasury - there is no money left!) and has been dropping ever since to around 52 billion in 2016/17 or around 3% GDP. Of course, every year there is a deficit, the national debt is added to so that has spiralled from less than 40% of GDP to around 90% and will only fall in terms of GDP once the economy grows faster than the deficit. Italy struggles with around 130% debt and under 40% is considered prudent. So the deficit has fallen under the Tories but the National Debt has increased. A lot of people are very vague at the difference between the debt and the deficit...... |
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...I think we all know the answer !' 
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