tufc01
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Posts: 1,179
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Post by tufc01 on Jan 2, 2009 14:49:30 GMT
I wouldn't normally post any jokes on here, but this did tickle me.
Subject: Frog Loan
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the clerk. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'
(you're gonna love this)
The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!
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Dave
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Post by Dave on Jan 2, 2009 15:00:54 GMT
made me laugh again tufc01 I say again because the jokes older than me ;D
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tufc01
TFF member
Posts: 1,179
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Post by tufc01 on Jan 2, 2009 16:21:26 GMT
made me laugh again tufc01 I say again because the jokes older than me ;D Must have been written on Papyrus paper then??
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Dave
TFF member
Posts: 13,081
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Post by Dave on Jan 2, 2009 17:18:14 GMT
Well I must tell you something I did that I thought was very funny, only the priest at the church did not. You may have read on here that I was once in the choir at St Marychurch, I was an adult and I did enjoy the singing. The priest stopped liking me so much, due to a football game between the choir and the servers of the church. The priest was on the servers side and everyone was fair game to me, when I was on the pitch, the priest for his trouble got his shins kicked by me. Anyway knowing I was not flavour of the month no more, I thought I would have a bit more fun. I waited until after the Sunday service, then everyone goes into the church hall, for coffee. The priest was standing in the middle with a group of people all around him. I walked up to him and said. I hear that god has been very upset lately,it seems he was become aware that there are more and more perverts, crooks, dishonest people and lowlifes now living on earth. So he called for St Peter and told him that he must go down to earth. God said that he wanted St Peter to get the names and addresses of all these lowlifes and perverts. you have one week to do this and return and then I will write to them all, letting them know how I feel. St Peter returned one week later, God he said, there are now more perverts and lowlife than there is good people and the task you set will require so much more time to complete. God had a think and then said to ST Peter, return to earth and just get the names and addresses of the good one who are left, I will write to them instead and let them know how proud I am of them and that they will be coming up to haven. One week later St Peter return with all the names and addresses of the good ones left on earth and god then wrote to each and everyone of then. At this point I looked back into the priests eyes, i said to him, On the bottom god put a PS and do you know what it said The priest replied NO so I said to him So you never got one as well.
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Post by aussie on Jan 3, 2009 10:00:20 GMT
I heard one just like it about an Irishman, a jock, a manc and some others but it is something you just wouldn`t put on a public forum as it is quite racist. Bet you`ve all heard it, it wrecked the original joke for me as I had heard the racist one first!
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