The Capitalgulls History & Days Out

All coming back. Off to the Maltings it is!

Can we have a thread on the comedic antics of the Capital Gulls?

Like Pikey being arrested at Barnet & some members of the CGs being locked in a womans house?

One and the same idiot person I'm afraid...............

One frosty pre-Crimbo Friday night we were playing at Gay Meadow and a few of us took up the offer of an apres match quafter or two which turned into a night on the piss and us splitting up into "individual units" for a friendly bed before the planned rendezvous for the trip home next morning.

I seem to recall one Rodney Jack making a feeble excuse to pick up the CG gauntlet (something about having to play for Crewe Alexandra the next day)and dashing off early.

I also have a vague if painful recollection of waking up in the early hours to the excruciating pressure of a stiletto heel on my face, opening my eyes to a wondrously long leg (female) that only seemed to end where even Jack of the Beanstalk fame never went and the dulcet tones of "Dave.............wots this effin' drunk doing on our floor?"

It seemed my host for the night had a partner who had more staying power out with the girls then he had!

Anyway, back to the rendezvous....................of course you've guessed who was the only no show - yupp, the one with the car keys. Bugger,we would have left him there if what followed next wasn't going to mean shelling out on train tickets.

The Barnet1 had been offered stabling by a guy who not only forgot to inform his wife of what he had done but also gone off to work whilst leaving her sleeping alone in the house with the monster. Still unaware of his presence, she too went off to work locking him in a third floor flat to which he had no clue as to the location.

When we raised him on his mobile all we could get was the usual incoherent drivel along the lines of "I dunno where I am" and he couldn't even spy a shop front with a phone number or any clue as to his whereabouts.

During a series of calls to contacts in South Devon who might have had friends in Shrewsbury who could give us a clue as to whose gaff he was imprisoned and it's where abouts, the grinning fool appeared around the corner regaling us of his "James Bond" like shin down a drain pipe to make good his escape.

The thought of that sixteen stone great lummox doing that still makes me fear for the structural safety of the building...................wherever it is!

What about when the two women in front of us at Tranmere turned out to be Woodsie's mum and sister?

I was tempted to greet her with "are you Mrs Laurel or Mrs Hardy then?"

Lol, reminds me of people berating Hockers only to be "greeted/spoken to/chased" by Kev &/or Wayne Hockley after the game!