FL2: Hartlepool Utd vs Torquay Utd - 1 March 2014

The monkey story might not be - how can I put it? - entirely true. But, as the story dates from the Napoleonic Wars, I'd suggest it would have happened on the Hartlepool headland rather than near the current football ground in West Hartlepool (an area which only developed after the 1840s).

However we did see the Andy Capp statue and the plaque which marks the German shelling of December 1914 and the first WW1 casualties on the British mainland.

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I can't say I noticed that too much. But I'll confess to the wretched quality of my post-match applause. I wouldn't be surprised if the players haven't heavily criticised me via various social media channels.

I was also distracted by the process of saying my farewells to travellers from London as well as engaging in philosophical dialogue regarding the curious range of behavioural traits demonstrated by football supporters. Furthermore, if truth be told, I also had half-a-mind on the evening's Scrabble contest at the Brandling Villa in South Gosforth. That, I'm afraid to say, also resulted in defeat. We had our fair share of possession but didn't push home our advantage in key areas of the board. We then made a series of sloppy mistakes and our opponents drew ahead in the latter stages of the contest.



How true Alpine Joe and, yes, I'm glad your attention was drawn to the "Poolies are born not made" banner.

And, here in Sheffield, the production line continues if the births announcements in "The Star" are to be believed. But there's also a small trade in recent arrivals to the city suddenly declaring loyalty to one of the local clubs.

Closer to home I guess that, in these trying and testing times, it's probably inevitable that a few of our followers will fall by the wayside. I'm sure Alpine Joe will join me in asking all to show their resolve. In the words of a song which AJ is sure to have sung at political rallies in his youth: "Let cowards flinch and traitors sneer, we'll keep the yellow flag flying here!"



I thought it a great shame that Torquay United were playing away when UKIP came to town. I'm sure AJ would have loved to see Nige make the 50/50 draw at Plainmoor or, with him being such a spirited individual, take his chances with the crossbar challenge. Personally I would have relished seeing the UKIP supremo take part in one of those "run round-and-round the pole" contests where the participants usually end up on their arses. But I fear that may be construed as too much of a political statement and I wouldn't want Aussie calling me a "pinko" or worse.

we have had more than enough chances to get out of this mess,but ultimately the players havent been up for it,there is nothing that shows this is going to change