The TFF Curry Club - from Papadom to Tarka Dall

Had one once, NEVER again sir

.......thats' great Phil - have PM'd your good self, and learned friends Jon and Barty just now...........

Much as I have been looking forward to this, I feel that I may have to boycott this event unless I can see clear evidence that Mr_W has kicked his vile CR habit. Trying to disguise the affliction by just using the initials will not work.

I like to think of myself as a reasonable man and if adults want to listen to Roger Whittaker or Barry Manilow, as long as no children are involved, I have no objection. But you have to draw the bounds of decency somewhere.

You've got a week and a half to cure yourself of this socially unacceptable behaviour, Mr_W. You will be bound, gagged and forced to listen to Mistletoe and Wine on a continuous tape loop - that should do the job.

.......update from Mr_W's psychiatric counsellor - he is reacting well to wall-to-wall Proggy therapy, the symptoms of "Hi-Fans-itis" are gradually fading and he is starting to call out for CD recordings of "Machine Head", "Deep Purple In Rock", "Fireball" and "Made In Japan" - this is a good sign and a hospital spokesman says ..........."although we are in the early stages here, a full recovery from CR overload is still very possible but the patient must be kept well away from holidays (especially summer ones), red buses, Melvyn Hayes, Una Stubbs, congratulations, celebrations, jubilations, living dolls, pretty ones, young ones, wiring (especially the sound-related type), shadows, silhouettes, anyone called Carrie, Olivia or Sue, tennis racquets, anything involving Wimbledon and lastly Christian rock for fear of the sight or sound of any of these causing a relapse at this critical part of his recovery programme".............

.........all is good still for forthcoming Operation Vindaloo II - The Reprise - all timings as agreed still ok as well - report and piccies to follow in due course we hope!................

I'm guessing that is 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil'

.........The Three Wise Monkeys - Chris, Jon n Phil..........



OPERATION VINDALOO II/11 - THE REPRISE



..........oh, gosh - well thank you Mr_Chelstongull for that intro and Hellooooo Wemberleee - oh sorry, getting carried away there, anyway.........


...........here it is gang, at last - yes we only went and bleddy done that dirty ol' deed didn't us eh - well actually its' TWO dirty ol' deeds cos' the first was natch beating the bandits from up Homo Park in the afternoon and finally Operation Vindaloo II/11 - The Reprise - in the evening - well first things first - lets' set the scene...........


........Saturday (yesterday) morning, we all woke up (luckily!!) - we had, I think, all collectively prayed for no rain and verily The Lord of Footy did shineth his sacred light favourably upon us cos' he decreed no rain and so 'twas fine - therefore a good start to the day.........


......having contacted all the main players in the evenings curry-based activities several times over the weeks before to iron out a workable plan for proceedings, we all headed off to t'game in fine heart with the forthcoming meal very much being looked forward to by all concerned.........


................btw I would like to name-check the participants now - five of us indulged in Operation Vindaloo II/11 - The Reprise...........


............as he is now known, Lord_Jon Of_The_Willows (kind of has a very Tolkien-esque ring to it I feel!!) and His Four HawhawHorsemen Of The Apocalypse........


1. Mr_W ie Chris..........


2. The Progmeister aka Mr_Chelstongull ie Phil...........


3. The Hon Member for Beyond The Exe aka Barton Downs aka The Prof ie Nick...........


4. And my shiniest star by far, THE top man himself my bruv How long, Nige? ie Nige (head taxi-man, sensible head and all round good egg!).............


.............final confirmation messages were sent, the evenings' business finalised and we all proceeded our ways to the game first - well what a bleddy good afternoons' entertainment! - we did em' mate - well good and no mistake - and frankly three cracking goals - all top drawer - in fact Eunans' second we said in the evening in folklore will end up as one Bruce Riochs' did many moons afore, back in the centre-circle - as we all know anyway, it was closer to 40 than 36 yds I reckon cos the edge of the penno box can be seen on a "freeze-frame" stop as he strikes and I reckon its more than that distance again - if you see what I mean - aussie will stick a fork in EXACTLY where he struck from to get an exact measurement anyway, I'm sure!................


...(and yes, when that second bad boy went in yesterday, I personally went on (or would have anyway if not for being so squashed) one of the finest fecking duckwalks (in top Chuck Berry celebration) I have done since Tims' massive strike at Wembley when me and some girly in a next-to-me seat did the full Pistols pogo impromptu, unannounced and without restraint in a punk freakout moment - nice one babe, whoever ya were!)..................


..............nice one Diddy Danny as well for the third, and thanks for ignoring me (AGAIN) as I was screaming for ya to release it left - you took no notice again as per usual - thankfully - with another top finish as well - all in all, a well-good, most excellent performance from our glorious Golden Bhoys...........


........so, the final whistle, and we harried out to get all our domestics sorted prior to night jollity time - this essentially involved Jon and Phil going home briefly to drop their cars off, Barty (Nick) strolling down town for a quick latte prior to festivities and me n Nige popping home to Cadewell to check on our very own "two lovely little old people" - ie our dear ol' Mum and Dad (aged 80 and 87 - we are so fecking lucky to have em both still with us), that they had got their teas ok and sorted prior to us out again..........


.......all done and sorted, and ready for the pick-ups etc.........


.........a last minute amendment to the Operational Order meant Phil was collected after Jon (1800 as opposed to 1745) - this, me and Jon later established was to enable additional time to be taken by Phil to polish his shiny pate in preparation for the nice girls of Torquay to gaze upon it "fondly" (shurely shume feckin' mishtake, refsh) in the forthcoming hours...........


....Jon was collected fine from his pile there near County Sainsburys, Phil likewise from Prog Towers in darkest Chelston (and no he skipped the hippy look again as you see from the pic above) and having texted Barty who was in situ we proceeded with haste towards the Harbour area - aaaaagh - nooooooo - it transpired a fat man with a beard, a large tum, a red nose and wearing wellies (no, not Phil) was also performing down town that evening in Torquay with some ball'y old light switching on effort for some Xmas festival coming up so it was DETOUR time!!..............


...............and yes gang, Stitchill Road is STILL a mystery as we ended up doing, in the bleddy dark six laps of the feckin' Alpine Inn (yeah that pub like Brigadoon that only appears every 200 years!!) trying to locate Babbacombe Road after the D & C Constabulary had kindly barriered off approaches to the Harbour from the Princess Theatre side (twots!) so it was major detours for us (as our objective was near the Curry Ocean, Harbourside btw) - great, 4 of us, about two hundred years of Torquay roads experience 'tween us and we get lost in the dark somewhere in the badland bleddy Warberries or wherever! - hey no sweat - Big Phil brainwaved us out along with Lord_Jon and we ended up halfway along Babbacombe Road and pointing downwards thankfully - phew, disaster avoided........


.............., it was down past The Museum, where it was variously offered/suggested/touted that this was where Jon got his clothes from, Phil kept his spare syrups (toupes) and Nick actually proper slept as it was, then parking by Claires as was/Ten Pin Bowling as always was and we proceeded then towards the hostelry of choice, The Hole In The Wall for our planned meeting with Nick (Barty) aprox 1830 hours no probs Barty was located and a couple of nice pintys in the Hole (as it were!!) followed - I opted for the juice of the apple (rough - Westons - 6% - good scrumps!!!!!), Nige was a coke, Barty went bitter shandy and Jon and Phil for pints of (yes it had to be - comedy beer!!) Otter Ale - I'm looking at a purloined beermat now even - this allowed Jon the old chestnut about the Tarka curry he was going to have shortly, apparently "its' like chicken but a little otter" - oh how we snored/snorted etc...........


............seriously, it was most sound in there, even if confronted by a blackboard sign outside the door sternly proclaiming "No Hen or Stag Parties"............


..........most splendid to meet Nick (Barty) esconced in there, the ceremonial handing over of the TBGS book for him to borrow took place, Tweenaway Phil gaped in awe at a book and idly wondered aloud about the type of joints the woodworking in the pub was made up of whilst STILL muttering about his ashtray he produced in Metalwork circa 1972...............


............some great conversation points in here, mainly TUFC-based natch but involving schooldays, Striker, Subbuteo footy, cricket AND rugger, Typhoo Tea and those footy cards, Shoot comic and its do-it-yourself league tables, Barton Downs, Cary Park, Cadewell Green or Paignton Green, which was best?, naming quality Liverpool, Chelsea and Derby team line-ups from times gone by, Tony Staytes' willy-orange joke from TBGS, and soon after refills, we proceeded to Curry Ocean....................


.............all was ace and fine here too, table booked by moi previously for five for 1930, we were welcomed warmly - "Hello Chris" he even said to me before I said who we were - TOP CLASS diary management by Da Staff - we took our places and pre-meals drinkies ordered - a most pleasant place this was and no mistake - nice and light - not the purple/maroon sometimes favoured - very airy (Phil and Jon had previous here I think) - and then came the fateful question - "erm Phil, whats' Pops and Spinnys?" - well I arrrsk ya!!! - transpires - I got the first bit right - yep its poppadums but the second part, Spinnys - well I honestly (being a thieving Liverpool-born git tbh along with bruv Nige) thought it was deepest Janner-ish for summat or other but you know what? - its the glass/metal plates chutneys turn up on - well they spin don' em my 'ansum so there - this pair of Scouse gits learnt summat!!!!............


...............after some quality conversation from my learned friends, Barty, Phil, Jon and Nige it was meal selection time!...............


...........Spinnys/Pops ordered, a nice selection of five chutneys and we proceeded (due to Nick slight time constraint) to mains only, it was frankly fantakkers we all plumped for a selection of three Nanns, three rices and afore that 10 Pops with the Chuts tween us so there was no vegi sides or starters to add on - all in all a very tasty beanfest indeed - Nick went "Sizzle Sizzle Mixee Grilly" - you know, that one that turns up spitting and everyone looks at thinking that smells good!!!!, Nige went Mild Prawn Curry, Phil for a fab-smelling Balti Chicken Massala, me a cheeky little King Prawn Vindaloo, and they were King btw!, and Jon I think went a little milder, Bhuna or Madras I feel - he will correct me if inaccurate there no doubt - and along with a couple of Kingfishers each a bleddy great nights feasting was had....................


............ we were toasting all, ranging from Bruce Rioch, the almighty Mark Loram, Frank O, the late Popeye Wills, his beard setting alight adventures/times/stories and how all his treasured progs/memorabilia were found after he passed on and how his ashes are as we speak, buried a'neath the Plainmoor pitch, also old school mates as well, to a quick mention from me remembering the late Bobby Millington, Jims' bruv (RIP Bob) and our old mate from Cary Park days of footy, tennis and putting, along with whom I considered THE finest footy player I EVER played against as a Cary Park Kid, Stephen Cocker (and he was BLOODY good, believe me), followed by Rob Manning - fine, fine players indeed - ah memories, all in all, great chat and banter - alas 2130 came and Nick had the walk of shame to Torquay station for his late train - and we called for bill after fond farewells to him - RESULT!............


............£21 pounds each - 5 of us - excellent value!!...............


www.curryocean.co.uk


....excellent all round........


..............we then made out for the Hole once more for nightcaps (two married members of the party got excited here 'cos a group of painted ladies passed 'em in high heels, holey long socks and small skirts on, all Hen nighted up - I dunno, married men, they never improve with age do they!!!!).........


.....soooo, we supped up, the four of us left finally and headed home after a fab night, only thing was on us lot getting to the car, Nige slipped out the CR word for a laugh, Jon took it all in good spirit and Phil and me came out with an impromptu limited edition version (live dance proggy-dropout Flox's Records Bandit mix) of "Got meself a cryin', talkin', sleepin' walkin' Tarka Dhall"!!!.........


............Thanx soooooooo much for the company Jon, Phil, Nick and Nige - four fantakkers guys with TUFCs' best interests at heart as always - a quality night, Roll On Vindaloo III!!.............



.........you'll NEVER beat the Irish, Mise Eire oh my Mise Eire, tiocfaidh ar la...........